DJ Doug's DJ Corner
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Do Nice Guys Have to Finish Last?
You've heard the expression a million times. "Nice guys finish last!" But it doesn't have to be that way. I've always thought of myself as a nice guy. I like it that way. I am comfortable with who I am and how I treat others (at least, I am now). I've always followed the golden rule and treat others with respect. And if all that is true, why should I finish last?
This article is dedicated to all the nice guys that finish last. I can make you a promise with 100% confidence. The reason you are finishing last is NOT because you are a nice guy...I guarantee it! Nice guys can finish first, but nice guys are usually the ones with a few insecurities, a tad bit of low self confidence and just a pinch of a self esteem issue. Hey now! Welcome to my world. Last place is usually the zone created by the BIG three I just noted. And let me tell you, being a nice guy is just a cover up for low self esteem, low self confidence and insecurity. Don't count yourself down and out yet, I can fix it, just relax and give me a few minutes of your time. Don't believe me yet? Let me take you back to 8th grade.
Remember the real good looking girl that sat next to you in eighth grade English class? The one that it took you three quarters of the year to have the courage to ask to go to the movies or sit next to at lunch.? Well, you finally got the nerve to ask her to share a walk in the hallway and what does she do? She shoots you down, mentioning something about the football team captain or something. The best you were able to do is make the golf team. Your parents were proud but you just did it for the letter and the jacket. Along with that rejection a small notch comes off the self esteem register, a tick mark falls off the confidence counter and your insecurities about the inner YOU begin to mount. Sure, you have a few wins along the way but you have more losses then victories. The result looks something like this: Losses 396, Wins 5. And when you are in junior high (middle school), high school and college those losses go right to your heart.
But check this out, along with each shot from the dark side, you learn a lesson. You learn a bit about how to handle the rejection. At first, when you hear the stinging sound of NO a little voice goes off inside your head..."Stay down on the mat." or "Don't get up, it'll hurt too much." A few more no's and your brain begins to counteract it saying..."You've heard that before, and you lived through it." or "Just take a rest, then get up and try again." Every no puts you one step closer to a yes. And one day you'll turn around and discover you've just asked every girl in the junior class on a date and set a record by being rejected by every one, except one. And the one that accepted has hair that smells like heaven. And you couldn't be happier.
Come back to today's world for a minute. If you took every prospect call that you made in the last couple of years and listed them, how many of those prospects told you, "Yes, sign me up, send me a contract, here's my check?" And how many of those prospective clients said, "Sorry, we went with another DJ company?" Chances are above average you had more no's than yes's. If you were bitter about the no's at first, aren't the no's easier for you now? Do you take a "no" out on the next call that you make saying in your brain, "I'll show you (Mr. Prospect) who's in charge. " Stop being bitter, you are one no closer to a yes. You should be grateful you got a no! Eventually, being bitter and rude will be counter productive to your business. Sounds like an obvious statement, but have you ever noticed how many people in customer service postions (almost everyone is in customer service) are rude, nasty or short with you?
Here's what will happen in the long run (life's lesson from yours truly). At first you'll be really bad at what you do (whether your a DJ, an auto mechanic or a bull fighter). You know why? Because your new at it, and your supposed to be bad at it...it's okay. Remember to stay calm, love up on your clients, go for the "NO." Above all, be nice to anyone and everyone. Thank them regardless of the outcome. Then, you'll start to see a few victories and along the way. Here's your chance to humbly celebrate the small victories (remember you wouldn't know the sweet smell of victory if you didn't take a whiff of foul defeat). Don't focus on the 99% losing streak. You hit a home run 1% of the time...congratulations. Next, (here's where you reach the crossroads), your winning percentage will start to rise to a level where you are winning as often as you are losing. Personally, I think this is the worst position to be in because when this happens, you'll start to get a bit too cocky. As they say in the hit "High School Musical" you Gotta Keep Your Head in the Game! Too many people, far too many people, think they are way too important for their clients and that they are doing their clients a favor by providing them a service. Here's what I say about that, "Get over yourself! Remember where you came from. Remember the losses. Remember eighth grade!" Hopefully, that will bring you back to reality.
Eventually, you will get to the point where victories far outnumber defeats. When clients call you will just be having a conversation with them, not trying to sell them, You will be able to be yourself with full confidence that even if they don't hire you or buy your service, the phone will ring again and you will claim victory one more time. You will be at ease with yourself. You know you are good, but you don't need to tell the world about it. As a matter of fact, if you are good at what you do, the world already knows about you. You generate positive vibes when you are nice and people will want to be around you. They want to talk to you and they want to know what you are thinking. It will be an amazing feeling.
Victories become wins for both you and your client. You get to know, really know, what they are thinking and feeling because, afterall, you are just having a conversation and not selling anything. Ultimately, you fall in love with your clients and for one brief moment you are in eighth grade again. But this time, you know how to handle it.
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